Stress Reducer Blog

Last time I suggested you get more sleep, but what if you’re having trouble sleeping?

This little trick works for falling asleep, going back to sleep or any other time you may be feeling stress, anxiety or fear. Works pretty well for diffusing anger too.

Here it is…EXHALE.

Yup, that’s it.

Focus on the exhale using the abdominal muscles and diaphragm to exhale completely then get out of the way and allow the inhalation to take care of itself.

Some people find it helpful to exhale through the mouth and inhale through the nose, but it’s not essential. You can breathe in and out through the nose. Either way, the key is to exhale completely.

You don’t need a lot of time to do this one either. Two or three breathes are often enough to trigger relaxation.

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In the realm of stress reduction, this is probably the most neglected stress reducer of all…SLEEP!

Somehow in this culture we have come to believe six hours of sleep is enough even though research suggests most adults need 8-9 hours a night. Study after study shows a relationship between lack of sleep and car accidents, lack of productivity and stress.

Let’s face it, we are bombarded by external stressors all day, everyday. Any change, good or bad, can cause stress. Lack of sleep increases those stress levels dramatically.

I’m not one to preach without asking you to verify what I’m saying for yourself. First of all you won’t be motivated to change anything unless you get it in your cells that a change is needed. Furthermore, the solutions are not a one size fits all. You have to figure out what is really going to work for you in any given situation.

So don’t take my word for it. Just step back and think about what you’re like when you’re sleep deprived. If you’re like me, every little thing hits you wrong. You’re more apt to get angry or irritated. You’re probably more likely to feel depressed. You are definitely less productive which impacts your self esteem. Unanticipated glitches send you into a orbit. Sound familiar?

When you’re sleep deprived you have no emotional reserves with which to deal with the routine demands of your life, never mind the unexpected.

This is probably easier to see if your sleep deprivation is only occasional. You have some basis for comparison. You can see the difference between the days you’re well rested and the days you’re not.

If you’re chronically sleep deprived you may not even be able to recognize the signs of this kind of stress, but if you’re experiencing any of the above and are getting less than 8 hours sleep a night, maybe it’s time to experiment.

Would you be willing to experiment for a week? Just a week. I’m not asking for a lifetime commitment. That’s up to you after the experiment.

For now would you be willing to go to bed earlier, sleep later or start napping? Or maybe experiment with all three and see what really works for you.

However you choose to do it, see if you notice a difference? See what happens to your stress levels and your general functioning.

I would be willing to bet that you will reduce your stress and be more efficient and effective in what you do during the day. I would also guess that you will enjoying life a whole lot more.

If you decide to run this experiment, please come back and let us know how you did it and what you discovered. None of us are in this alone, and sharing can help clarify the results for you and help someone else in the process.

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If you’re drowning under the weight of your to-do list…throw it out.

You got that right…throw it out. Right now. Just dump it.

If you are one of those people (like I used to be) who has a to-do list you could use to measure the circumference of the earth, throw it out.

That’s not to say we don’t all need some reminders but we don’t need that kind of list.

Here are some ways to deal with the dreaded to do list…

1. Rename it. I call mine the “Daily Palette” and just like a painter’s palette, I pick and choose, mix and match throughout the day. When approached this way, it’s more like a tickler file to remind you than it is the ball and chain of shoulds and have to’s. Now that’s a stress reducer!

2. Eliminate everything that keeps going to the bottom of the list. Honestly, if you haven’t done it by now, how important is it? Feel the load getting lighter?

3. Rather than a list at all, stay focused on your ultimate goal. Every morning ask yourself what one step you can take today in the direction of that goal. Then do it.

4. What nurtures and nourishes you most? Do that activity first. Then do your to-do’s.

Focusing on the goal and next step as well as nurturing yourself first, make all those little niggling details, easier to accomplish. Don’t believe me? Give it a try.

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Okay, here’s another counterintuitive technique.

Stress and overwhelm are inextricably linked. Our natural inclination is to struggle to get out of the overwhelm by ramping up our activity. Somehow if we move fast enough the thinking goes, we’ll get out of it. If we could only finish everything that needs to be done…

It’s something like trying to swim out of a rip current*. It’s not possible. You can’t swim to shore when you’re caught in a rip current and you can’t outrun your overwhelm.

When feeling overwhelmed, the only thing you can do is STOP.

Stop what you’re doing. Take a deep breath. Take the day off. Go for a walk. Go on vacation. It doesn’t really matter. It doesn’t really matter how long you stop as long as you put on the brakes and come to a complete stop.

Overwhelm feeds on itself and unless you break the cycle, you’ll drown in it. The worst part is that for all that effort and struggle, you become less and less effective until it feels like you’re trying to win a race by running backwards.

I understand this goes against all your instincts, mine too, but I have learned from hard experience that the most effective way to deal with overwhelm and the stress it creates is to stop and rest. Then I can return to whatever needs doing feeling refreshed and renewed. You can too.

When you do this, something very interesting happens…many of the things you were feeling pressured by, no longer feel urgent or even important. In fact you’ll probably look at your to-do list (more on that later) and start crossing things off because they really don’t need doing. Now that really does lighten the load.

* For those of you who don’t live near the ocean, a rip current is a strong ocean current that pulls you away from shore, and it is impossible to swim back to shore no matter how strong a swimmer you are. The only way out is to swim parallel to the shore until you are out of the current, then swim in.

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Today it’s been on the news, in magazines and just about everywhere you can imagine…

That’s right…kissing Is a stress reducer. Yeah! The rest is also a stress reducer, but since this is a family friendly site, I will leave that to your imagination and creativity.

Opening the heart is a very fine stress reducer as well.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

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