Stress Reducer Blog

Did you read the New York Times article, Understanding the Anxious Mind, yesterday? Pretty interesting, but was it helpful for the stressed among us?

One of the points I found particularly interesting was…

ANXIETY IS NOT fear, exactly, because fear is focused on something right in front of you, a real and objective danger. It is instead a kind of fear gone wild, a generalized sense of dread about something out there that seems menacing — but that in truth is not menacing, and may not even be out there. If you’re anxious, you find it difficult to talk yourself out of this foreboding; you become trapped in an endless loop of what-ifs.

Fear can be stressful but if we look at fear as a real response to real danger, it’s safe to say it is not a chronic condition because it passes once the danger passes.

Fear is a call to action. We need to respond in order to get out of a dangerous situation. What makes anxiety and stress so debilitating is how chronic they are. We are ‘flight or fight’ mode all the time. Yes it does go up and down, but for most of us, there is a constant undercurrent of anxiety and stress which over time is damaging to our emotional and physical health.

The article was actually quite hopeful in looking at how even with a temperamental inclination, environment can play a big role in mitigating the effects of temperament. That’s the good news. The bad news is that the research, as yet, does not show us the best way to stop anxiety in children who exhibit ‘high reactor’ tendencies. What they do say is this…

The best outcome, however it happens, is to rear a child who learns to wrestle his demons on his own. Some children figure out themselves what works best.

So what do you think? How can parents help their ‘high reactor’ children? Were you a ‘high reactor’ growing up? What helped you or hindered you in dealing with your temperament?

Please share your thoughts by leaving a comment.

Take care,

Susan

Technorati Tags: Stop Anxiety

Are we wired to worry? Current research as reported in today’s ‘New York Times Magazine’ would suggest that the causes of anxiety (as opposed to fear) are temperamental. The research also shows that temperament is not the whole story if you want to stop anxiety.

The tenuousness of modern life can make anyone feel overwrought. And in societal moments like the one we are in — thousands losing jobs and homes, our futures threatened by everything from diminishing retirement funds to global warming — it often feels as if ours is the Age of Anxiety. But some people, no matter how robust their stock portfolios or how healthy their children, are always mentally preparing for doom. They are just born worriers, their brains forever anticipating the dropping of some dreaded other shoe.

Read more of Understanding the Anxious Mind

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…now researchers have discovered that the sensation of being highly stressed can rewire the brain in ways that promote its sinister persistence….Happily, the stress-induced changes in behavior and brain appear to be reversible. Read More…

Certainly makes the case for taking a vacation…have you had one this summer?…and supports what I’ve said before about when you are stressed from feeling overwhelmed the best stress reducer is to stop.

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Yesterday I recommended watching comedies as a stress reducer.

Honestly I don’t know how people with no sense of humor survive. Life can be mighty hard at times. Cultivating a sense of humor in response can really lighten the load.

I’ll admit when times are tough, the humor can turn rather black but that’s the point after all. Find the humor and you alleviate the stress.

I know it’s easier said than done. When you’re feeling the most stress, it may feel impossible, but over time it can be cultivated.

Start here and see how it goes…

When you’re feeling stressed, take a breathe, then just step back for a moment and imagine your watching the situation as an outsider. With that perspective I’d bet there’s quite a lot you can see about the situation that’s humorous.

As wonderful example of turning parental stress into humor is this site…Growing Edges. I particularly like this story about the chocolate syrup and orange juice.

I do have to admit this is even funnier for me because this is my niece and nephew making such a mess and my sister trying to deal with it, but still I think it’s pretty funny and it’s a wonderful example of finding the humor under trying circumstances.

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When was the last time you had a good laugh? Or watched a funny movie?

Laugher is an essential part of our humanity. It contributes to our capacity to cope with life’s challenges. It gives us a respite from the doom and gloom that often surrounds us.

Norman Cousins closed himself in a hotel room and watched Marx Brothers movies for pain relief. Ten minutes of laughter for several hours of pain relief. Not bad eh?

In the early 1990’s I worked for hospice and during that time and for a good while after, I would only watch comedies. When life is that real, you don’t need fictionalized drama on top of it. Laughter was one of the things that allowed me to do the work without getting depressed, stressed and overwhelmed by the intense emotional pain I was dealing with on a daily basis. It allowed me to be present with an open heart to the families I met.

Now it doesn’t make all the stress disappear for good, but it does tend to lend some perspective and gives us a much needed break.

So go rent a funny movie and have a good laugh. You’ll feel better for it.

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