Stress Reducer Blog

When was the last time you had a good laugh? Or watched a funny movie?

Laugher is an essential part of our humanity. It contributes to our capacity to cope with life’s challenges. It gives us a respite from the doom and gloom that often surrounds us.

Norman Cousins closed himself in a hotel room and watched Marx Brothers movies for pain relief. Ten minutes of laughter for several hours of pain relief. Not bad eh?

In the early 1990′s I worked for hospice and during that time and for a good while after, I would only watch comedies. When life is that real, you don’t need fictionalized drama on top of it. Laughter was one of the things that allowed me to do the work without getting depressed, stressed and overwhelmed by the intense emotional pain I was dealing with on a daily basis. It allowed me to be present with an open heart to the families I met.

Now it doesn’t make all the stress disappear for good, but it does tend to lend some perspective and gives us a much needed break.

So go rent a funny movie and have a good laugh. You’ll feel better for it.

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In my last post, I talked about how staying in the present moment is a wonderful stress reducer. I have to admit it’s easier said than done, but there are 3 things that are helping me do it.

1. I am no longer listening to the repetitive fear mongering of the media. I have turned off the news and listen to no more than one news report a day. Sometimes I don’t listen to any, and you know what? I haven’t missed anything important.

2. I have meditated now for 25 years, and most meditation practice is about staying present in the moment, opening the heart and staying connected to source. Even 5 minutes of observing the breathe has a way of bringing you right back into the present moment.

3. I remind myself throughout the day that for today everything is fine. I will say that having Heidi here to remind me of that helps a lot, because for today she is fine.

What helps you stay in the present moment?

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Living in the present moment is a piece of ancient spiritual wisdom worth remembering in this discussion of uncertainty and lack of control.

Staying focused on the present is a massive stress reducer. For right now, at this moment, I am okay. For today, I have shelter, food, income, a loving family, good friends and a healthy dog.

Any of that could change tomorrow. That’s always been true, but in the normal course of most of our lives we choose to keep that awareness in the background. We don’t think about how it could all change in an instant. We expect continuity as we move into the future.

Currently we are living in a world of Chicken Littles…the sky is falling, the sky is falling…and it’s really hard to stay removed from all that catastrophizing.

I’m finding it as hard as anyone else, but I am also finding that the lesson of Heidi’s illness has been to remind me that for today she is fine and for today I am fine. And you know what? It’s enough. It’s actually more than enough to keep the stress monsters at bay.

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Recently I’ve been addressing uncertainty as a cause of stress…and it is, but it seems to me there’s also a component of feeling out of control that’s feeding the high levels of stress and anxiety.

In psychological terms it’s called locus of control. People with an internal locus of control experience themselves as being in control of their lives where as people with an external locus of control attribute their circumstances to factors outside of themselves.

It’s been well known for years that people with an internal locus of control tend to have much less stress than people with an external locus of control.

In our individualistic American culture, we tend to see people with that internal sense of control as being healthier, but how are they faring in the current economy?

Seems to me these might be the people having the hardest time of all.

What do you think?

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I recently posted about how stressful it is to be dealing with a sick dog who has a decidely uncertain prognosis.

I’ve seen the same kind of stress in people diagnosed with cancer. Having a life threatening illness with an uncertain outcome is amazingly stressful…more stressful than facing a certain death.

It sounds odd to think that death can be a relief and yet I’ve observed that relief in many of the hospice patients I’ve worked with. It’s just easier to prepare for a certain outcome than it is to anticipate an array of possible outcomes.

In a recent ‘New York Times’ article, Daniel Gilbert writes about the uncertainty we’re all experiencing around money as our economy and personal finances seem to be spiraling out of control.

He maintains it’s dealing with the uncertainty of the financial crisis rather than the crisis itself that has Americans reporting increased levels of unhappiness and depression.

He has some interesting research to back it up.

Read more of What You Don’t Know Makes You Nervous

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The dog who is normally a wonderful stress reducer, has become a stressor.

The pathology report showed they didn’t get it all so we are looking at options but the reality is that although this is not the worst kind of mast cell tumor, it could recur at any time no matter what I decide to do. How’s that for stressful uncertainty?

Several things are helping reduce the stress…

• Supportive vet, trainer, friends & family. Having a supportive network of people has been shown repeatedly to be one of the best stress reducers around.

• Giving her benadryl — though not a cure it will make the histamine levels (released by the cancer cells) go down so she is more comfortable…and as a stress reducer, it makes me feel like I’m doing something.

• Facing her possible death and grieving now…frees me to stay in the present moment with her…for today she is fine.

• My daily meditation practice and I did a mini-retreat a couple of weeks ago–got me back to feeling like myself which is usually a good thing .

So the reality for us is that this tumor will probably be what kills her, but that could be in 6 months or 5 years. There’s just no way to tell.

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Today, my dog is having a malignant tumor removed from her ear, and I have been terribly stressed since it was diagnosed on Friday. Knowing the chances are 95% in our favor, and that removing it will be all the treatment needed, hasn’t done much to appease the stress monster. It’s that uncertain 5% that just won’t let go.

Though prayers are welcome, that’s not why I’m sharing this. I’m sharing it because of what I’ve been observing in myself as I deal with the uncertainty.

Mostly I’ve been feeling distracted, so concentrating on anything has been difficult and lack of sleep has exacerbated the lack of focus. It’s been hard getting any work done, and after a frustrating Monday, I finally gave up trying to do any more than what was absolutely necessary. Sometimes you just need to let it all go.

As stress reducers go, spiritual practice and physical activity are tried and true. They have helped, of course, but what’s been most helpful has been doing routine, catchup tasks…things that don’t require much attention or focus like overdue computer maintenance (we’re humming now), clearing out cupboards, running errands I’d been putting off, and a bit of spring cleaning.

Even checking email and twittering have been oddly soothing, and for these few days I have allowed myself that indulgence, slippery slope though it may be.

What hasn’t helped is sitting around thinking about it, or even worse, watching TV. Keeping busy doing stuff I normally hate doing, has really helped a lot.

What about you? Does this resonate? If you’ve been in a similar situation, what’s helped you most?

Photo Credit: NickF

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I’ve been teaching clients EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) ever since I first learned it. It’s an extremely effective stress reducer.

What I like best about it is that it’s not dependent on you going to see a practitioner. Once you’ve learned it, you can do it anytime you need it. I find that empowering.

This is a good instructional video I found on YouTube. Yes the presentation is a bit dry, but it’s clear and easy to follow.

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