3 best ways to stay in the present moment

May 29th, 2009

In my last post, I talked about how staying in the present moment is a wonderful stress reducer. I have to admit it’s easier said than done, but there are 3 things that are helping me do it.

1. I am no longer listening to the repetitive fear mongering of the media. I have turned off the news and listen to no more than one news report a day. Sometimes I don’t listen to any, and you know what? I haven’t missed anything important.

2. I have meditated now for 25 years, and most meditation practice is about staying present in the moment, opening the heart and staying connected to source. Even 5 minutes of observing the breathe has a way of bringing you right back into the present moment.

3. I remind myself throughout the day that for today everything is fine. I will say that having Heidi here to remind me of that helps a lot, because for today she is fine.

What helps you stay in the present moment?

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Staying in the present moment as a stress reducer

May 28th, 2009

Living in the present moment is a piece of ancient spiritual wisdom worth remembering in this discussion of uncertainty and lack of control.

Staying focused on the present is a massive stress reducer. For right now, at this moment, I am okay. For today, I have shelter, food, income, a loving family, good friends and a healthy dog.

Any of that could change tomorrow. That’s always been true, but in the normal course of most of our lives we choose to keep that awareness in the background. We don’t think about how it could all change in an instant. We expect continuity as we move into the future.

Currently we are living in a world of Chicken Littles…the sky is falling, the sky is falling…and it’s really hard to stay removed from all that catastrophizing.

I’m finding it as hard as anyone else, but I am also finding that the lesson of Heidi’s illness has been to remind me that for today she is fine and for today I am fine. And you know what? It’s enough. It’s actually more than enough to keep the stress monsters at bay.

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Uncertainty or lack of control?

May 26th, 2009

Recently I’ve been addressing uncertainty as a cause of stress…and it is, but it seems to me there’s also a component of feeling out of control that’s feeding the high levels of stress and anxiety.

In psychological terms it’s called locus of control. People with an internal locus of control experience themselves as being in control of their lives where as people with an external locus of control attribute their circumstances to factors outside of themselves.

It’s been well known for years that people with an internal locus of control tend to have much less stress than people with an external locus of control.

In our individualistic American culture, we tend to see people with that internal sense of control as being healthier, but how are they faring in the current economy?

Seems to me these might be the people having the hardest time of all.

What do you think?

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Uncertainty, Stress & Unhappiness

May 23rd, 2009

I recently posted about how stressful it is to be dealing with a sick dog who has a decidely uncertain prognosis.

I’ve seen the same kind of stress in people diagnosed with cancer. Having a life threatening illness with an uncertain outcome is amazingly stressful…more stressful than facing a certain death.

It sounds odd to think that death can be a relief and yet I’ve observed that relief in many of the hospice patients I’ve worked with. It’s just easier to prepare for a certain outcome than it is to anticipate an array of possible outcomes.

In a recent ‘New York Times’ article, Daniel Gilbert writes about the uncertainty we’re all experiencing around money as our economy and personal finances seem to be spiraling out of control.

He maintains it’s dealing with the uncertainty of the financial crisis rather than the crisis itself that has Americans reporting increased levels of unhappiness and depression.

He has some interesting research to back it up.

Read more of What You Don’t Know Makes You Nervous

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Heidi & the stress of uncertainty

May 8th, 2009

The dog who is normally a wonderful stress reducer, has become a stressor.

The pathology report showed they didn’t get it all so we are looking at options but the reality is that although this is not the worst kind of mast cell tumor, it could recur at any time no matter what I decide to do. How’s that for stressful uncertainty?

Several things are helping reduce the stress

• Supportive vet, trainer, friends & family. Having a supportive network of people has been shown repeatedly to be one of the best stress reducers around.

• Giving her benadryl — though not a cure it will make the histamine levels (released by the cancer cells) go down so she is more comfortable…and as a stress reducer, it makes me feel like I’m doing something.

• Facing her possible death and grieving now…frees me to stay in the present moment with her…for today she is fine.

• My daily meditation practice and I did a mini-retreat a couple of weeks ago–got me back to feeling like myself which is usually a good thing .

So the reality for us is that this tumor will probably be what kills her, but that could be in 6 months or 5 years. There’s just no way to tell.

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Mindless, routine tasks are stress reducers

March 26th, 2009

Today, my dog stress reducersis having a malignant tumor removed from her ear, and I have been terribly stressed since it was diagnosed on Friday. Knowing the chances are 95% in our favor, and that removing it will be all the treatment needed, hasn’t done much to appease the stress monster. It’s that uncertain 5% that just won’t let go.

Though prayers are welcome, that’s not why I’m sharing this. I’m sharing it because of what I’ve been observing in myself as I deal with the uncertainty.

Mostly I’ve been feeling distracted, so concentrating on anything has been difficult and lack of sleep has exacerbated the lack of focus. It’s been hard getting any work done, and after a frustrating Monday, I finally gave up trying to do any more than what was absolutely necessary. Sometimes you just need to let it all go.

As stress reducers go, spiritual practice and physical activity are tried and true. They have helped, of course, but what’s been most helpful has been doing routine, catchup tasks…things that don’t require much attention or focus like overdue computer maintenance (we’re humming now), clearing out cupboards, running errands I’d been putting off, and a bit of spring cleaning.

Even checking email and twittering have been oddly soothing, and for these few days I have allowed myself that indulgence, slippery slope though it may be.

What hasn’t helped is sitting around thinking about it, or even worse, watching TV. Keeping busy doing stuff I normally hate doing, has really helped a lot.

What about you? Does this resonate? If you’ve been in a similar situation, what’s helped you most?

Photo Credit: NickF

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Tap, Tap, Tap…EFT Works as a Stress Reducer

March 18th, 2009

I’ve been teaching clients EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) ever since I first learned it. It’s an extremely effective stress reducer.

What I like best about it is that it’s not dependent on you going to see a practitioner. Once you’ve learned it, you can do it anytime you need it. I find that empowering.

This is a good instructional video I found on YouTube. Yes the presentation is a bit dry, but it’s clear and easy to follow.

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Stress still a problem?

March 11th, 2009

Okay, you’ve improved your diet, consulted your health care provider about supplements, and you’ve given it all time to kick in (don’t forget that part), but you’re still feeling stressed.

I know in our ‘better living through chemistry’ culture, many of you may be ready to try the big gun pharmaceuticals as stress reducers, but before you do….

There are many homeopathic remedies and herbs that can reduce stress without all the side effects and potential addiction that comes with the usual anti-anxiety meds. When homeopathy works (it doesn’t always), it’s like magic. Certainly worth a try.

Visit a homeopath or naturopath who can make recommendations specifically for you. These things are very individual, and you really haven’t lived until you’ve been through a homeopathic assessment….comprehensive doesn’t even begin to describe it.

While I’m on the subject, acupuncture can be a wonderful stress reducer as well.

For minor stress you may find some over the counter products at places like Whole Foods but for the best possible outcome, work with a professional trained in alternative treatments.

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So…how’s your diet?

March 10th, 2009

I know you know all this so take it as a friendly reminder.

By far the best way to get good nutrition is through the food you eat.

Now I’m no hard core food fanatic. Mostly I go for what I like and what makes me feel good, but there are some real basic, common sense adjustments you can make that can really help with stress reduction.

First eliminate caffeine and sugar.

I love my coffee and I understand how hard it can be to stop drinking it, but too much can really jangle the nerves. I’ve experienced and I’m pretty sure you have too. If stress is a problem in your life, try switching to decaf for a week and see if it makes a difference. If you can’t switch all at once, start with half high test and half decaf then gradually increase the decaf.

The same goes for sugar. Just run an experiment to see if eliminating it helps. Would it be worth living without your regular sugar rush if it reduced your overall stress? Think about it.

Next, look at what you’re eating. The best sources of the stress reducer nutrients you need are in whole grains, dairy, nuts (especially almonds), green veggies (broccoli is one of the best) and some fish. If these aren’t a regular part of your diet, then try adding a bit here and there to start. Some of it’s really yummy, and some an acquired taste, but all of it’s really good for you and can help to reduce your stress.

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Stress Reducer Tip – Physical Resilience

March 9th, 2009

Emotional resilience is tied to physical resilience so make sure you’re getting the nutrition you need to stay healthy. This is especially true when you’re in the middle of a crisis even though that may be the hardest time of all to eat well.

In my old copy of Nutrition Almanac, the list of nutrients recommended to reduce stress reads like the label of a multivitamin. So first make sure you’re getting your basic daily requirements. Of particular importance for stress reduction are B vitamins, calcium and magnesium.

Now don’t go out and buy these supplements and start taking them without some guidance. I am not a medical doctor, and even if I were, I couldn’t customize your treatment from a website. Capeesh? Consult your health care provider first.

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