Stress Reducer Blog

Are we wired to worry? Current research as reported in today’s ‘New York Times Magazine’ would suggest that the causes of anxiety (as opposed to fear) are temperamental. The research also shows that temperament is not the whole story if you want to stop anxiety.

The tenuousness of modern life can make anyone feel overwrought. And in societal moments like the one we are in — thousands losing jobs and homes, our futures threatened by everything from diminishing retirement funds to global warming — it often feels as if ours is the Age of Anxiety. But some people, no matter how robust their stock portfolios or how healthy their children, are always mentally preparing for doom. They are just born worriers, their brains forever anticipating the dropping of some dreaded other shoe.

Read more of Understanding the Anxious Mind

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Living in the present moment is a piece of ancient spiritual wisdom worth remembering in this discussion of uncertainty and lack of control.

Staying focused on the present is a massive stress reducer. For right now, at this moment, I am okay. For today, I have shelter, food, income, a loving family, good friends and a healthy dog.

Any of that could change tomorrow. That’s always been true, but in the normal course of most of our lives we choose to keep that awareness in the background. We don’t think about how it could all change in an instant. We expect continuity as we move into the future.

Currently we are living in a world of Chicken Littles…the sky is falling, the sky is falling…and it’s really hard to stay removed from all that catastrophizing.

I’m finding it as hard as anyone else, but I am also finding that the lesson of Heidi’s illness has been to remind me that for today she is fine and for today I am fine. And you know what? It’s enough. It’s actually more than enough to keep the stress monsters at bay.

Technorati Tags: Dealing with Uncertainty, Stress Reducer, stress reducers, stress reduction

Recently I’ve been addressing uncertainty as a cause of stress…and it is, but it seems to me there’s also a component of feeling out of control that’s feeding the high levels of stress and anxiety.

In psychological terms it’s called locus of control. People with an internal locus of control experience themselves as being in control of their lives where as people with an external locus of control attribute their circumstances to factors outside of themselves.

It’s been well known for years that people with an internal locus of control tend to have much less stress than people with an external locus of control.

In our individualistic American culture, we tend to see people with that internal sense of control as being healthier, but how are they faring in the current economy?

Seems to me these might be the people having the hardest time of all.

What do you think?

Technorati Tags: Dealing with Uncertainty, Stress Reducer

I recently posted about how stressful it is to be dealing with a sick dog who has a decidely uncertain prognosis.

I’ve seen the same kind of stress in people diagnosed with cancer. Having a life threatening illness with an uncertain outcome is amazingly stressful…more stressful than facing a certain death.

It sounds odd to think that death can be a relief and yet I’ve observed that relief in many of the hospice patients I’ve worked with. It’s just easier to prepare for a certain outcome than it is to anticipate an array of possible outcomes.

In a recent ‘New York Times’ article, Daniel Gilbert writes about the uncertainty we’re all experiencing around money as our economy and personal finances seem to be spiraling out of control.

He maintains it’s dealing with the uncertainty of the financial crisis rather than the crisis itself that has Americans reporting increased levels of unhappiness and depression.

He has some interesting research to back it up.

Read more of What You Don’t Know Makes You Nervous

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I’ve always been one for jumping right in so here it goes. 

I know I’m starting with one of the toughest ways to reduce stress, and I will get to some of the easier stress reducers as we go along, but the lack of certainty in our lives is probably the most potent cause of stress, anxiety and fear. Befriending that lack of certainty is one of the most effective ways to reduce stress.

So let’s see if I can make some sense of this…

What do you think is more stressful…losing your job or fearing you might lose your job? …a relationship that has ended or worrying about it ending?…worrying about being sick or actually getting a dreaded diagnosis?

You catch my drift, yes?

Uncertainty always creates more stress even when certainty brings with it the most feared outcome.

When my mother was diagnosed with cancer in 1984, the first 4 months were much harder than the last 4. Why? 

In the beginning we knew she might die, but we had hope she might not. By February of 1985, we knew she was dying, and that was infinitely easier to deal with than the not knowing. Don’t get me wrong, it was not the outcome we as a family wanted, but knowing what we were dealing with and what we were preparing for was so much easier than not knowing.

Sounds a bit counterintuitive doesn’t it? Who wants to face their worst fears? Not too many of us, but it’s the unwillingness to face those fears that creates some of our most overwhelming stress.

So what to do? 

Tomorrow I’ll share a brief stress reducer exercise to help you make peace with uncertainty and reduce your stress by facing your fears. We’ll start small I promise.

In the meantime, think about uncertainty as a cause of your stress. Does it make sense to you? What about the idea of facing your worst fears? If you are so inclined, please share your thoughts and reactions.

Technorati Tags: Dealing with Uncertainty, reduce stress, Stress Reducer