Staying focused on the present is a massive stress reducer. For right now, at this moment, I am okay. For today, I have shelter, food, income, a loving family, good friends and a healthy dog.

Any of that could change tomorrow. That’s always been true, but in the normal course of most of our lives we choose to keep that awareness in the background. We don’t think about how it could all change in an instant. We expect continuity as we move into the future.

Currently we are living in a world of Chicken Littles…the sky is falling, the sky is falling…and it’s really hard to stay removed from all that catastrophizing.

I’m finding it as hard as anyone else, but I am also finding that the lesson of Heidi’s illness has been to remind me that for today she is fine and for today I am fine. And you know what? It’s enough. It’s actually more than enough to keep the stress monsters at bay.

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In psychological terms it’s called locus of control. People with an internal locus of control experience themselves as being in control of their lives where as people with an external locus of control attribute their circumstances to factors outside of themselves.

It’s been well known for years that people with an internal locus of control tend to have much less stress than people with an external locus of control.

In our individualistic American culture, we tend to see people with that internal sense of control as being healthier, but how are they faring in the current economy?

Seems to me these might be the people having the hardest time of all.

What do you think?

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I’ve seen the same kind of stress in people diagnosed with cancer. Having a life threatening illness with an uncertain outcome is amazingly stressful…more stressful than facing a certain death.

It sounds odd to think that death can be a relief and yet I’ve observed that relief in many of the hospice patients I’ve worked with. It’s just easier to prepare for a certain outcome than it is to anticipate an array of possible outcomes.

In a recent ‘New York Times’ article, Daniel Gilbert writes about the uncertainty we’re all experiencing around money as our economy and personal finances seem to be spiraling out of control.

He maintains it’s dealing with the uncertainty of the financial crisis rather than the crisis itself that has Americans reporting increased levels of unhappiness and depression.

He has some interesting research to back it up.

Read more of What You Don’t Know Makes You Nervous

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I know I’m starting with one of the toughest ways to reduce stress, and I will get to some of the easier stress reducers as we go along, but the lack of certainty in our lives is probably the most potent cause of stress, anxiety and fear. Befriending that lack of certainty is one of the most effective ways to reduce stress.

So let’s see if I can make some sense of this…

What do you think is more stressful…losing your job or fearing you might lose your job? …a relationship that has ended or worrying about it ending?…worrying about being sick or actually getting a dreaded diagnosis?

You catch my drift, yes?

Uncertainty always creates more stress even when certainty brings with it the most feared outcome.

When my mother was diagnosed with cancer in 1984, the first 4 months were much harder than the last 4. Why? 

In the beginning we knew she might die, but we had hope she might not. By February of 1985, we knew she was dying, and that was infinitely easier to deal with than the not knowing. Don’t get me wrong, it was not the outcome we as a family wanted, but knowing what we were dealing with and what we were preparing for was so much easier than not knowing.

Sounds a bit counterintuitive doesn’t it? Who wants to face their worst fears? Not too many of us, but it’s the unwillingness to face those fears that creates some of our most overwhelming stress.

So what to do? 

Tomorrow I’ll share a brief stress reducer exercise to help you make peace with uncertainty and reduce your stress by facing your fears. We’ll start small I promise.

In the meantime, think about uncertainty as a cause of your stress. Does it make sense to you? What about the idea of facing your worst fears? If you are so inclined, please share your thoughts and reactions.

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