Stress Reducer Blog

Emotional resilience is tied to physical resilience so make sure you’re getting the nutrition you need to stay healthy. This is especially true when you’re in the middle of a crisis even though that may be the hardest time of all to eat well.

In my old copy of Nutrition Almanac, the list of nutrients recommended to reduce stress reads like the label of a multivitamin. So first make sure you’re getting your basic daily requirements. Of particular importance for stress reduction are B vitamins, calcium and magnesium.

Now don’t go out and buy these supplements and start taking them without some guidance. I am not a medical doctor, and even if I were, I couldn’t customize your treatment from a website. Capeesh? Consult your health care provider first.

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What nurtures and nourishes you most? In a recent post, The Dreaded To-Do List, I suggested that you do that activity first.

I can hear the cacophony of objections. Nobody thinks this stress reducer is a good idea when they first hear about. It’s selfish and self indulgent. There’s too much to do. It totally goes against the grain of our puritanical work ethic.

It is totally contrary to how most of us think about getting things done. What most of us do is try to bribe ourselves into doing the stuff we hate by waving the reward at the end.

The problem with that approach is that we really resent it. The drag of that resentment usually means we never get through the list to the reward. Then we beat ourselves up and tell ourselves we just don’t have the time. Wrong!

Why shouldn’t we resent it? We are denying ourselves real nourishment. It’s really is like not eating, and the way most people do this, it’s like never eating. Come on, how long can you function without eating from time to time?

When you deny yourself your favorite activity whether it’s creative work, exercise (only if you love it), spending time with a friend, making love (there’s a thought), or going for a walk on the beach with the dog (my personal favorite), you are denying yourself basic nourishment. When you deny yourself basic nourishment, you become inefficient, ineffective and resentful. This is not a recipe for genuine accomplishment or a stress free life.

Humor me here and just experiment with this for a couple of days even if you have to run the experiment on the weekend. Do something you love and make it the first thing you do every day. Then follow up with your to-do’s.

Come back and tell us what happens.

If you’re like most of us, you will find that everything else you have to do during the day, becomes easier and less stressful. You will become more efficient so you get all that stuff done more quickly. You might even find that you have more time at the end of the day to do something else that’s fun. It can really make that much difference.

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I’ve always been one for jumping right in so here it goes. 

I know I’m starting with one of the toughest ways to reduce stress, and I will get to some of the easier stress reducers as we go along, but the lack of certainty in our lives is probably the most potent cause of stress, anxiety and fear. Befriending that lack of certainty is one of the most effective ways to reduce stress.

So let’s see if I can make some sense of this…

What do you think is more stressful…losing your job or fearing you might lose your job? …a relationship that has ended or worrying about it ending?…worrying about being sick or actually getting a dreaded diagnosis?

You catch my drift, yes?

Uncertainty always creates more stress even when certainty brings with it the most feared outcome.

When my mother was diagnosed with cancer in 1984, the first 4 months were much harder than the last 4. Why? 

In the beginning we knew she might die, but we had hope she might not. By February of 1985, we knew she was dying, and that was infinitely easier to deal with than the not knowing. Don’t get me wrong, it was not the outcome we as a family wanted, but knowing what we were dealing with and what we were preparing for was so much easier than not knowing.

Sounds a bit counterintuitive doesn’t it? Who wants to face their worst fears? Not too many of us, but it’s the unwillingness to face those fears that creates some of our most overwhelming stress.

So what to do? 

Tomorrow I’ll share a brief stress reducer exercise to help you make peace with uncertainty and reduce your stress by facing your fears. We’ll start small I promise.

In the meantime, think about uncertainty as a cause of your stress. Does it make sense to you? What about the idea of facing your worst fears? If you are so inclined, please share your thoughts and reactions.

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