Stress Reducer Blog

If you’re drowning under the weight of your to-do list…throw it out.

You got that right…throw it out. Right now. Just dump it.

If you are one of those people (like I used to be) who has a to-do list you could use to measure the circumference of the earth, throw it out.

That’s not to say we don’t all need some reminders but we don’t need that kind of list.

Here are some ways to deal with the dreaded to do list…

1. Rename it. I call mine the “Daily Palette” and just like a painter’s palette, I pick and choose, mix and match throughout the day. When approached this way, it’s more like a tickler file to remind you than it is the ball and chain of shoulds and have to’s. Now that’s a stress reducer!

2. Eliminate everything that keeps going to the bottom of the list. Honestly, if you haven’t done it by now, how important is it? Feel the load getting lighter?

3. Rather than a list at all, stay focused on your ultimate goal. Every morning ask yourself what one step you can take today in the direction of that goal. Then do it.

4. What nurtures and nourishes you most? Do that activity first. Then do your to-do’s.

Focusing on the goal and next step as well as nurturing yourself first, make all those little niggling details, easier to accomplish. Don’t believe me? Give it a try.

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Okay, here’s another counterintuitive technique.

Stress and overwhelm are inextricably linked. Our natural inclination is to struggle to get out of the overwhelm by ramping up our activity. Somehow if we move fast enough the thinking goes, we’ll get out of it. If we could only finish everything that needs to be done…

It’s something like trying to swim out of a rip current*. It’s not possible. You can’t swim to shore when you’re caught in a rip current and you can’t outrun your overwhelm.

When feeling overwhelmed, the only thing you can do is STOP.

Stop what you’re doing. Take a deep breath. Take the day off. Go for a walk. Go on vacation. It doesn’t really matter. It doesn’t really matter how long you stop as long as you put on the brakes and come to a complete stop.

Overwhelm feeds on itself and unless you break the cycle, you’ll drown in it. The worst part is that for all that effort and struggle, you become less and less effective until it feels like you’re trying to win a race by running backwards.

I understand this goes against all your instincts, mine too, but I have learned from hard experience that the most effective way to deal with overwhelm and the stress it creates is to stop and rest. Then I can return to whatever needs doing feeling refreshed and renewed. You can too.

When you do this, something very interesting happens…many of the things you were feeling pressured by, no longer feel urgent or even important. In fact you’ll probably look at your to-do list (more on that later) and start crossing things off because they really don’t need doing. Now that really does lighten the load.

* For those of you who don’t live near the ocean, a rip current is a strong ocean current that pulls you away from shore, and it is impossible to swim back to shore no matter how strong a swimmer you are. The only way out is to swim parallel to the shore until you are out of the current, then swim in.

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Today it’s been on the news, in magazines and just about everywhere you can imagine…

That’s right…kissing Is a stress reducer. Yeah! The rest is also a stress reducer, but since this is a family friendly site, I will leave that to your imagination and creativity.

Opening the heart is a very fine stress reducer as well.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

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I’ve always been one for jumping right in so here it goes. 

I know I’m starting with one of the toughest ways to reduce stress, and I will get to some of the easier stress reducers as we go along, but the lack of certainty in our lives is probably the most potent cause of stress, anxiety and fear. Befriending that lack of certainty is one of the most effective ways to reduce stress.

So let’s see if I can make some sense of this…

What do you think is more stressful…losing your job or fearing you might lose your job? …a relationship that has ended or worrying about it ending?…worrying about being sick or actually getting a dreaded diagnosis?

You catch my drift, yes?

Uncertainty always creates more stress even when certainty brings with it the most feared outcome.

When my mother was diagnosed with cancer in 1984, the first 4 months were much harder than the last 4. Why? 

In the beginning we knew she might die, but we had hope she might not. By February of 1985, we knew she was dying, and that was infinitely easier to deal with than the not knowing. Don’t get me wrong, it was not the outcome we as a family wanted, but knowing what we were dealing with and what we were preparing for was so much easier than not knowing.

Sounds a bit counterintuitive doesn’t it? Who wants to face their worst fears? Not too many of us, but it’s the unwillingness to face those fears that creates some of our most overwhelming stress.

So what to do? 

Tomorrow I’ll share a brief stress reducer exercise to help you make peace with uncertainty and reduce your stress by facing your fears. We’ll start small I promise.

In the meantime, think about uncertainty as a cause of your stress. Does it make sense to you? What about the idea of facing your worst fears? If you are so inclined, please share your thoughts and reactions.

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