Stress Reducer Blog

In my last post, I talked about how staying in the present moment is a wonderful stress reducer. I have to admit it’s easier said than done, but there are 3 things that are helping me do it.

1. I am no longer listening to the repetitive fear mongering of the media. I have turned off the news and listen to no more than one news report a day. Sometimes I don’t listen to any, and you know what? I haven’t missed anything important.

2. I have meditated now for 25 years, and most meditation practice is about staying present in the moment, opening the heart and staying connected to source. Even 5 minutes of observing the breathe has a way of bringing you right back into the present moment.

3. I remind myself throughout the day that for today everything is fine. I will say that having Heidi here to remind me of that helps a lot, because for today she is fine.

What helps you stay in the present moment?

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Living in the present moment is a piece of ancient spiritual wisdom worth remembering in this discussion of uncertainty and lack of control.

Staying focused on the present is a massive stress reducer. For right now, at this moment, I am okay. For today, I have shelter, food, income, a loving family, good friends and a healthy dog.

Any of that could change tomorrow. That’s always been true, but in the normal course of most of our lives we choose to keep that awareness in the background. We don’t think about how it could all change in an instant. We expect continuity as we move into the future.

Currently we are living in a world of Chicken Littles…the sky is falling, the sky is falling…and it’s really hard to stay removed from all that catastrophizing.

I’m finding it as hard as anyone else, but I am also finding that the lesson of Heidi’s illness has been to remind me that for today she is fine and for today I am fine. And you know what? It’s enough. It’s actually more than enough to keep the stress monsters at bay.

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Don’t buy The Relaxation & Stress Reduction Workbook (New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook)unless you want complete instructions on all of the most important stress reduction techniques, and even a few of the less important ones.

Of all the books on stress reduction that are on the market, this one is by far the most comprehensive.

You will find detailed instructions on techniques like…progressive relaxation, visualization, refuting irrational fears, facing worry and anxiety, coping skills training for fears, anger inoculation, goal setting and time management, work stress management, nutrition and stress, and much, much more.

Though I can often find lots of fault with books like these, my only complaint is that it’s too much.

The dog who is normally a wonderful stress reducer, has become a stressor.

The pathology report showed they didn’t get it all so we are looking at options but the reality is that although this is not the worst kind of mast cell tumor, it could recur at any time no matter what I decide to do. How’s that for stressful uncertainty?

Several things are helping reduce the stress…

• Supportive vet, trainer, friends & family. Having a supportive network of people has been shown repeatedly to be one of the best stress reducers around.

• Giving her benadryl — though not a cure it will make the histamine levels (released by the cancer cells) go down so she is more comfortable…and as a stress reducer, it makes me feel like I’m doing something.

• Facing her possible death and grieving now…frees me to stay in the present moment with her…for today she is fine.

• My daily meditation practice and I did a mini-retreat a couple of weeks ago–got me back to feeling like myself which is usually a good thing .

So the reality for us is that this tumor will probably be what kills her, but that could be in 6 months or 5 years. There’s just no way to tell.

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Today, my dog Heidi is having a malignant tumor removed from her ear, and I have been terribly stressed since it was diagnosed on Friday. Knowing the chances are 95% in our favor, and that removing it will be all the treatment needed, hasn’t done much to appease the stress monster. It’s that uncertain 5% that just won’t let go.

Though prayers are welcome, that’s not why I’m sharing this. I’m sharing it because of what I’ve been observing in myself as I deal with the uncertainty.

Mostly I’ve been feeling distracted, so concentrating on anything has been difficult and lack of sleep has exacerbated the lack of focus. It’s been hard getting any work done, and after a frustrating Monday, I finally gave up trying to do any more than what was absolutely necessary. Sometimes you just need to let it all go.

As stress reducers go, spiritual practice and physical activity are tried and true. They have helped, of course, but what’s been most helpful has been doing routine, catchup tasks…things that don’t require much attention or focus like overdue computer maintenance (we’re humming now), clearing out cupboards, running errands I’d been putting off, and a bit of spring cleaning.

Even checking email and twittering have been oddly soothing, and for these few days I have allowed myself that indulgence, slippery slope though it may be.

What hasn’t helped is sitting around thinking about it, or even worse, watching TV. Keeping busy doing stuff I normally hate doing, has really helped a lot.

What about you? Does this resonate? If you’ve been in a similar situation, what’s helped you most?

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