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3 best ways to stay in the present moment
May 29th, 2009In my last post, I talked about how staying in the present moment is a wonderful stress reducer. I have to admit it’s easier said than done, but there are 3 things that are helping me do it.
1. I am no longer listening to the repetitive fear mongering of the media. I have turned off the news and listen to no more than one news report a day. Sometimes I don’t listen to any, and you know what? I haven’t missed anything important.
2. I have meditated now for 25 years, and most meditation practice is about staying present in the moment, opening the heart and staying connected to source. Even 5 minutes of observing the breathe has a way of bringing you right back into the present moment.
3. I remind myself throughout the day that for today everything is fine. I will say that having Heidi here to remind me of that helps a lot, because for today she is fine.
What helps you stay in the present moment?
Staying in the present moment as a stress reducer
May 28th, 2009Living in the present moment is a piece of ancient spiritual wisdom worth remembering in this discussion of uncertainty and lack of control.
Staying focused on the present is a massive stress reducer. For right now, at this moment, I am okay. For today, I have shelter, food, income, a loving family, good friends and a healthy dog.
Any of that could change tomorrow. That’s always been true, but in the normal course of most of our lives we choose to keep that awareness in the background. We don’t think about how it could all change in an instant. We expect continuity as we move into the future.
Currently we are living in a world of Chicken Littles…the sky is falling, the sky is falling…and it’s really hard to stay removed from all that catastrophizing.
I’m finding it as hard as anyone else, but I am also finding that the lesson of Heidi’s illness has been to remind me that for today she is fine and for today I am fine. And you know what? It’s enough. It’s actually more than enough to keep the stress monsters at bay.
Heidi & the stress of uncertainty
May 8th, 2009The dog who is normally a wonderful stress reducer, has become a stressor.
The pathology report showed they didn’t get it all so we are looking at options but the reality is that although this is not the worst kind of mast cell tumor, it could recur at any time no matter what I decide to do. How’s that for stressful uncertainty?
Several things are helping reduce the stress…
• Supportive vet, trainer, friends & family. Having a supportive network of people has been shown repeatedly to be one of the best stress reducers around.
• Giving her benadryl — though not a cure it will make the histamine levels (released by the cancer cells) go down so she is more comfortable…and as a stress reducer, it makes me feel like I’m doing something.
• Facing her possible death and grieving now…frees me to stay in the present moment with her…for today she is fine.
• My daily meditation practice and I did a mini-retreat a couple of weeks ago–got me back to feeling like myself which is usually a good thing
So the reality for us is that this tumor will probably be what kills her, but that could be in 6 months or 5 years. There’s just no way to tell.
Mindless, routine tasks are stress reducers
March 26th, 2009Today, my dog 
is having a malignant tumor removed from her ear, and I have been terribly stressed since it was diagnosed on Friday. Knowing the chances are 95% in our favor, and that removing it will be all the treatment needed, hasn’t done much to appease the stress monster. It’s that uncertain 5% that just won’t let go.
Though prayers are welcome, that’s not why I’m sharing this. I’m sharing it because of what I’ve been observing in myself as I deal with the uncertainty.
Mostly I’ve been feeling distracted, so concentrating on anything has been difficult and lack of sleep has exacerbated the lack of focus. It’s been hard getting any work done, and after a frustrating Monday, I finally gave up trying to do any more than what was absolutely necessary. Sometimes you just need to let it all go.
As stress reducers go, spiritual practice and physical activity are tried and true. They have helped, of course, but what’s been most helpful has been doing routine, catchup tasks…things that don’t require much attention or focus like overdue computer maintenance (we’re humming now), clearing out cupboards, running errands I’d been putting off, and a bit of spring cleaning.
Even checking email and twittering have been oddly soothing, and for these few days I have allowed myself that indulgence, slippery slope though it may be.
What hasn’t helped is sitting around thinking about it, or even worse, watching TV. Keeping busy doing stuff I normally hate doing, has really helped a lot.
What about you? Does this resonate? If you’ve been in a similar situation, what’s helped you most?
Photo Credit: NickF
Tap, Tap, Tap…EFT Works as a Stress Reducer
March 18th, 2009I’ve been teaching clients EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) ever since I first learned it. It’s an extremely effective stress reducer.
What I like best about it is that it’s not dependent on you going to see a practitioner. Once you’ve learned it, you can do it anytime you need it. I find that empowering.
This is a good instructional video I found on YouTube. Yes the presentation is a bit dry, but it’s clear and easy to follow.
So…how’s your diet?
March 10th, 2009I know you know all this so take it as a friendly reminder.
By far the best way to get good nutrition is through the food you eat.
Now I’m no hard core food fanatic. Mostly I go for what I like and what makes me feel good, but there are some real basic, common sense adjustments you can make that can really help with stress reduction.
First eliminate caffeine and sugar.
I love my coffee and I understand how hard it can be to stop drinking it, but too much can really jangle the nerves. I’ve experienced and I’m pretty sure you have too. If stress is a problem in your life, try switching to decaf for a week and see if it makes a difference. If you can’t switch all at once, start with half high test and half decaf then gradually increase the decaf.
The same goes for sugar. Just run an experiment to see if eliminating it helps. Would it be worth living without your regular sugar rush if it reduced your overall stress? Think about it.
Next, look at what you’re eating. The best sources of the stress reducer nutrients you need are in whole grains, dairy, nuts (especially almonds), green veggies (broccoli is one of the best) and some fish. If these aren’t a regular part of your diet, then try adding a bit here and there to start. Some of it’s really yummy, and some an acquired taste, but all of it’s really good for you and can help to reduce your stress.
Stress Reducer Tip – Physical Resilience
March 9th, 2009Emotional resilience is tied to physical resilience so make sure you’re getting the nutrition you need to stay healthy. This is especially true when you’re in the middle of a crisis even though that may be the hardest time of all to eat well.
In my old copy of Nutrition Almanac, the list of nutrients recommended to reduce stress reads like the label of a multivitamin. So first make sure you’re getting your basic daily requirements. Of particular importance for stress reduction are B vitamins, calcium and magnesium.
Now don’t go out and buy these supplements and start taking them without some guidance. I am not a medical doctor, and even if I were, I couldn’t customize your treatment from a website. Capeesh? Consult your health care provider first.
Stress Reducer Tip – Turn It All Upside Down
March 2nd, 2009What nurtures and nourishes you most? In a recent post, The Dreaded To-Do List, I suggested that you do that activity first.
I can hear the cacophony of objections. Nobody thinks this stress reducer is a good idea when they first hear about. It’s selfish and self indulgent. There’s too much to do. It totally goes against the grain of our puritanical work ethic.
It is totally contrary to how most of us think about getting things done. What most of us do is try to bribe ourselves into doing the stuff we hate by waving the reward at the end.
The problem with that approach is that we really resent it. The drag of that resentment usually means we never get through the list to the reward. Then we beat ourselves up and tell ourselves we just don’t have the time. Wrong!
Why shouldn’t we resent it? We are denying ourselves real nourishment. It’s really is like not eating, and the way most people do this, it’s like never eating. Come on, how long can you function without eating from time to time?
When you deny yourself your favorite activity whether it’s creative work, exercise (only if you love it), spending time with a friend, making love (there’s a thought), or going for a walk on the beach with the dog (my personal favorite), you are denying yourself basic nourishment. When you deny yourself basic nourishment, you become inefficient, ineffective and resentful. This is not a recipe for genuine accomplishment or a stress free life.
Humor me here and just experiment with this for a couple of days even if you have to run the experiment on the weekend. Do something you love and make it the first thing you do every day. Then follow up with your to-do’s.
Come back and tell us what happens.
If you’re like most of us, you will find that everything else you have to do during the day, becomes easier and less stressful. You will become more efficient so you get all that stuff done more quickly. You might even find that you have more time at the end of the day to do something else that’s fun. It can really make that much difference.
A Quick Stress Reducer
February 26th, 2009Last time I suggested you get more sleep, but what if you’re having trouble sleeping?
This little trick works for falling asleep, going back to sleep or any other time you may be feeling stress, anxiety or fear. Works pretty well for diffusing anger too.
Here it is…EXHALE.
Yup, that’s it.
Focus on the exhale using the abdominal muscles and diaphragm to exhale completely then get out of the way and allow the inhalation to take care of itself.
Some people find it helpful to exhale through the mouth and inhale through the nose, but it’s not essential. You can breathe in and out through the nose. Either way, the key is to exhale completely.
You don’t need a lot of time to do this one either. Two or three breathes are often enough to trigger relaxation.
